Overdue and Tired

I am now 40 weeks and 5 days pregnant. I am exhausted, sore and generally moody. The smallest things set me off into an angry, pregnancy rage. Thankfully, mrblueberry is understanding and has been taking it all in stride. It is so hard at this point to be positive. I am trying. I keep repeating those affirmations in my mind. Nobody is pregnant forever. My body and my baby's body know what they are doing. He will come when he is ready. But it is still so difficult. I am starting to worry about risking out of my home birth and having to go to the hospital, and honestly, that scares me. I don't want to have this baby at the hospital. Nothing against hospital births, but I am really looking forward to labouring and birthing this baby in my own, safe space at home.

To keep my mind off of things, I have been trying to keep busy. E and I go out every day, even if it is just for some window shopping or for a walk with our dog. I can't just stay at home and stare at the birth pool all day! But, there's a catch when you go out this pregnant. Someone always seems to think they need to comment on things you do when you are pregnant, and when you are THIS pregnant, it is only worse. I am so tired of hearing all the dumb questions and comments.

• When are you due? (and when I tell them last week I get dumbfounded stares with responses like: And you're out SHOPPING? Um, yes lady, life doesn't stop just because I am overdue. I still need groceries so I can feed this other child right here! And no, my water will most likely not break standing in line. Not everything is a movie.)
• Oh my! How many are in there? Just one thanks.
• Wow, you're huge! My daughter had TWINS and was smaller than you! Thanks jerk for pointing out the obvious. At least I have an excuse!
• You must be uncomfortable. Yep. Another obvious. You know what would have been nice instead of this comment? Letting me go ahead of you in line so that I don't have to stand here being uncomfortable longer. Especially since you have a cart full of things and I have two things.
• You know what gets labour going, don't you? Wink, wink. No comment.
• How dilated are you? Thanks for asking about my woman parts. If you ask again, I'm going to ask you about your last trip to the bathroom. 
• Will they induce you? Or When's the C-Section? Um, the due date is not an expiration date, FYI. It's a guess date. An estimate. 
• That's gonna be a HUGE baby. You better get the epidural right away! Gee, thanks for having faith in the body's ability to give birth and assuming that I can't do it. (When I mention that, no, I will not be having an epidural because I am having a home birth, I either get stares of shock, told I'm "brave" or "crazy", or they just think I'm joking.)
• And the women who think it is necessary to tell me every little detail about their traumatic labour. Seriously, I don't need to hear that this close to giving birth.

Some of these comments are said with genuine care and concern, and that is okay. I had one gentleman say how uncomfortable I must be the other day and offered to help me out to the car with my bags. While I didn't take him up on his offer, I definitely appreciated it. Today, I had a lady tell me my belly was "like a torpedo," and then offered me some chocolate saying, "I've been there." Those sorts of comments are completely welcome. Being overdue is hard. Really hard. Every day feels like an eternity. Especially since I have been having cramping for four weeks and random contractions for almost three weeks now. But I know that in the end, it will be worth it. Very, very, very soon, I will be snuggling my new little boy. And I can't wait!