meditations of a blueberry

Miss A is almost 7 weeks old. Last week, we had our final midwife appointment. It was  bittersweet. I've come to think of my midwife as a trusted friend. For over 4 years, she's been a part of my life and has seen me through some of my most vulnerable times. At my appointment, I got the glorious news that there are no signs of uterine prolapse. Hallulujah! But all is not good. My ab diastasis has worsened to the point of possibly requiring surgery. And I developed an umbilical hernia. Of course pregnancy couldn't just leave me with stretch marks and extra weight. But  suppose that's what happens when you grow an 11 lb 6 oz baby. Don't get me wrong. My body has done amazing things. It has grown, birthed, and nourished 4 beautiful children. It provides warm, soft hugs to those children when they are hurt and lifts them up when they fall down. It has carried those children when their legs get tired. It has stayed awake when it so desperately wanted to sleep to comfort

After 5 pregnancies and 4 babies, I am well aware of how the body changes postpartum. My body grows large babies and stretches unbelievable amounts. I know that it takes months to lose the belly. How in the days immediately proceeding birth my body feels oddly empty as my organs begin to rearrange into their usual places. The way it takes weeks for the uterus to return to prepregnancy size. How weeks and even months post birth my ligaments are still loose from the effects of relaxin. How the postpartum hormones can make the mind crazy. It still manages to surprise me each time. 3 weeks ago, I started this postpartum journey for the last time. I am well aware that I'm postpartum, but for some reason, I keep forgetting. This birth just went so much better (birth story to come soon, I promise!) and my body literally feels 100 times better than it has felt after any of my previous births. Even my postpartum belly has gone down a lot faster than previously. Instead of looking 7 months