meditations of a blueberry

Sometimes life seems to rush past us faster than we can believe. Often, it is our own doing. We speed through our days, barely paying attention to the food that we are or aren't putting in our bodies. Our foot is heavy on the gas pedal of life and before we know it, we are barely noticing our surroundings. We speed along until something forces us to stop. That has been my life since joining TNT and having that amazing experience in Vancouver. While I wouldn't trade it for anything, I was so busy I couldn't think. The last 8 months since the marathon has been one thing going wrong after another. From major car issues and my health issues, to PPD and loved ones having health scares, bad things just keep happening. This last month has been the icing on the cake. In the midst of a very busy fall, cold snap and major winter storm, little man A developed croup so badly that in two days, we took him to the ER three different times (one at 3 am!). If that wasn't bad enough, bot...

Being pregnant is a time like no other. It is wonderful and beautiful and scary and ugly all at the same time. There are changes happening to your body and to your mind. You're confused, amazed, determined, and trying to make the best decisions possible. And people throw information and opinions at you like they would throw water on you if you were on fire. Seriously. Being pregnant is like an invitation for hearing someone's opinion . Opinions that all start with "you should" or "you shouldn't." And what happens with all these opinions? They permeate your brain and without you even knowing it, they poison you. You start thinking "I shouldn't eat this," "I shouldn't need a nap," "I should feel this way," "I shouldn't feel this way," "I shouldn't wear this," etc, etc, etc. It's impossible to get away from, and truthfully, it continues far into motherhood. I often find myself thinking ...

Sometimes I look back on my life, and wonder if I made the right choices. Did I follow the right path? Did I choose the right forks in the road? Should I not have gone to university? Should I have started working right away instead of spending countless dollars for two pieces of paper? Was getting married the right choice? What about having a baby? Or having the second baby? Or staying home with the children? I must admit that I am lucky that I got to make these choices. I know there are many out there that don't get to do so. Still, I often wonder when I see my friends down completely different paths than I. Paths that don't include me as much as sometimes I wish they did. Should I be on those paths with them? I can't be the only one who does this. It's not regret, so much as wondering where I would be in the alternate world that I followed those other paths. But, I'll never know. Unlike the "Choose Your Own Adventure" books I used to read as a kid, I c...

Taken from www.myorganizedlifestyle.com/2011/01/are-you-under-water.html I need to make a doctor's appointment for E. And I am putting it off. Back in June, E got his finger caught in the screen door. It cut his finger, and now his nail is not growing properly and I can't seem to get rid of the infection. I showed it to the doctor at his two year check-up, but she said to continue doing what I was doing and if it didn't get better to bring him back. Well, that was almost two months ago now. But I hate making doctor's appointments, so I haven't done it. Why haven't I done it? Because it can only go one of two ways: I surprisingly find the cordless phone on the charger, and it is charged. E tries to take the phone from me. I call the office. E is pushing buttons as I am trying to keep the phone from him. Receptionist answers, and puts me on hold while I try to dodge and distract E from the phone. I wait. E is thankfully distracted by his toys, but A decide...