meditations of a blueberry

Walking my eldest to the bus in the dark the last few months has given me time to reflect and breathe. After years of not needing to be up early thanks to being a work at home mom with young kids, I am actually enjoying the quiet as we step out into the dark mornings when the sun is still sleeping. Sometimes, we see the moon shining brightly and sometimes the cloud cover is thick. Sometimes the cold air takes our breath right out of our lungs and sometimes the snow swirls around us covering our tracks on the path. Sometimes we are dressed and ready for the day and sometimes our winter clothes hide our pajamas and bed head. Sometimes I have finished a full coffee and eaten breakfast and sometimes my coffee remains at home on the counter promising to be cold when I return. After the bus pulls away with E and the two littles and I walk home, we watch the sun rise, often in a glorious display of colours. Purples and reds and pinks dancing brilliantly in the distance, giving us a glimpse o

This too shall pass.  I remind myself of this near constant mantra as the 1.5 year old has yet another tantrum. Not sure the cause of this one, but as usual, he seeks out the nearest wall and floor to smash his head against it. Then, he runs to me to hit me and smash his head against my body. I sigh, and tell him, yet again, that I won't let him hit me and move my body out of his reach. I've been telling him the same thing for months, but it hasn't seemed to get through to him. Every tantrum he does the same things just like clockwork. This too shall pass, I tell myself again as he reaches up to me and I scoop him up and attempt to cradle him in my arms. But that is a lost cause as he throws his body back and squirms out of my arms. It is like trying to comfort a pissed off octopus. Just like usual. It has been a long few months. Pregnancy hormones don't make this whole parenting thing any easier.  I am trying to teach my children about kindness. I am tryin