Lessons, Emotions, and the Golden Rule
Recently, I had the displeasure to experience first hand what it feels like to have my parenting questioned. To me, it felt like an attack. It was not a nice feeling. I spent a lot of time in tears, a lot of time angry, and a lot of time questioning every single decision I have made as a parent. I found myself wondering if I saw E with blind eyes and if he truly was the way he was being made out to be. And I think that hurt the worst of all. To suddenly be thinking about your child in such a negative way is not a very comforting thing in the least. Luckily, I had the support of mrblueberry and some very good friends who held me up and helped me to get through it. Without them, I don't know what I would have done.
I have learned a few things from this experience about myself, my friends, and the "mommy world" in general. I learned that I am stronger than I thought I was. I also learned that I really need to trust my gut when it comes to those people I want in my life. Just because you start out thinking a relationship will flower, doesn't mean it will, nor does it mean it has to. Clearly, that does not mean that when you realize this you stop being civil to those people in social events. Just because a relationship doesn't flower, doesn't mean you can't be acquaintances. I need to remember that not everyone needs to become a close friend. Those people in my life that I truly value and call friends were there for me when I needed it and told me the truth when I desperately needed to hear it. I really realized who my friends were, and how much they meant to me. I am so grateful that I had that support.
We all want what is best for our children, and sometimes that blinds us from the facts and the bigger picture. Nobody wants to see their child hurt, whether that be emotionally or physically, and nobody wants to see their child be made out to be something he or she is not. It can be hard to get past that. Sometimes when we are trying to address things, our emotions take over and we are not careful in how we word our comments. That carelessness can result in misunderstandings and even bigger problems, especially online. Emotions can get the best of anyone, but it's important to try to be kind when we are addressing problems. It's especially important to be kind when we are addressing a concern that relates to a sensitive topic, such as someone's parenting or child. There is something to be said for the delayed message, or having someone else read over your words to make sure that they are not sending a message you do not intend. Or even a personal phone call so that any misunderstandings can be cleared up right away.
I know it is hard to put our emotions aside when we are dealing with issues surrounding our children. I have seen it as a teacher and experienced it as a parent. But it's so important to remember that we are not the only ones with emotions. The other person has them too. And their feelings are just as valid as ours. It's important to remember to respect that, and treat the other person with kindness, as I am sure each of us hopes that person would treat us. And isn't that the Golden Rule that we try to teach our children? If E learns only that from me, then I will have succeeded in my task as a mother. "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." Simple words. Relevant in the playground, in the work place, in the "mommy world", online, and anywhere else you might be.
I have learned a few things from this experience about myself, my friends, and the "mommy world" in general. I learned that I am stronger than I thought I was. I also learned that I really need to trust my gut when it comes to those people I want in my life. Just because you start out thinking a relationship will flower, doesn't mean it will, nor does it mean it has to. Clearly, that does not mean that when you realize this you stop being civil to those people in social events. Just because a relationship doesn't flower, doesn't mean you can't be acquaintances. I need to remember that not everyone needs to become a close friend. Those people in my life that I truly value and call friends were there for me when I needed it and told me the truth when I desperately needed to hear it. I really realized who my friends were, and how much they meant to me. I am so grateful that I had that support.
We all want what is best for our children, and sometimes that blinds us from the facts and the bigger picture. Nobody wants to see their child hurt, whether that be emotionally or physically, and nobody wants to see their child be made out to be something he or she is not. It can be hard to get past that. Sometimes when we are trying to address things, our emotions take over and we are not careful in how we word our comments. That carelessness can result in misunderstandings and even bigger problems, especially online. Emotions can get the best of anyone, but it's important to try to be kind when we are addressing problems. It's especially important to be kind when we are addressing a concern that relates to a sensitive topic, such as someone's parenting or child. There is something to be said for the delayed message, or having someone else read over your words to make sure that they are not sending a message you do not intend. Or even a personal phone call so that any misunderstandings can be cleared up right away.
I know it is hard to put our emotions aside when we are dealing with issues surrounding our children. I have seen it as a teacher and experienced it as a parent. But it's so important to remember that we are not the only ones with emotions. The other person has them too. And their feelings are just as valid as ours. It's important to remember to respect that, and treat the other person with kindness, as I am sure each of us hopes that person would treat us. And isn't that the Golden Rule that we try to teach our children? If E learns only that from me, then I will have succeeded in my task as a mother. "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." Simple words. Relevant in the playground, in the work place, in the "mommy world", online, and anywhere else you might be.
Comments