Lessons from the Past Year

It could be said that 2015 was the year of lessons. Hard lessons. Several lessons that brought me to my knees in despair. Lessons that required me to challenge ideas and realize hard truths about myself. Lessons that forced growth. Some lessons that I'm fairly certain life has tried to teach me before through friends and family, but I wasn't listening then. I've always been a kinesthetic learner, so I suppose that it took me actually experiencing life to truly learn them. 2015 certainly didn't turn out the way I had thought it would.  The loss of three grandparents. The loss of not only just my job, but a company that I truly believed was making a difference. Moving to another city. A major change in government, both provincially and federally. Deciding to have a fourth baby and getting pregnant seemingly minutes later. Finding out this fourth baby is (supposedly) a girl. So much change, so many lessons. So in no particular order, here are the lessons that 2015 brought into my life. 

Hard work doesn't always produce the results you hope for, but it's always worth the work. 

Sometimes when you take a chance and leap forward, the ground opens up. Leap anyway. 

If you fall, get back up. Know that if you do not find yourself on the same path, it is okay. There is always a new path, even if you have to make it yourself.  

Loss comes in many forms. Sometimes it's expected, sometimes it is not. 

Know that you can't change what came before or what you did not do. Move forward with that knowledge. 

Grieving happens whether we allow it or not. If we don't allow it to happen, it will force itself in. Welcome it, embrace it, and feel it. 

Family matters, but not all family is blood. 

Disappointment can break you to your core. 

Not everyone has your best interests at heart. Trust your gut. 

Being betrayed by someone you trusted was working towards the same goal hurts more than you imagine. 

When someone shows you who they are, believe them. 

Sometimes life has another plan for you. 

Life moves on. You can too.

Great joy can still be found during times of pain. 

It's okay to be terrified about something completely exciting. 

Even in the fifth pregnancy, there is no better sound than the thumping of a growing baby's heartbeat. 

A 3 year old's hug and soft words of "I love you mommy" can fix any hurt or pain.

Most things can wait for 5 minutes while you play a game of Crazy 8's with your kids.  

Moving with kids is hard, especially when you are pregnant. Ask for help. 

Actually, just ask for help more in general. It's not weak to ask for help. In fact, it shows you're strong. 

You are stronger than you know. 

Kids eat a lot of food. Especially 3 boys. 

Change can be hard. Embrace it anyway. 

Sometimes all you need to do is to go get a proper hair cut.  

Forgiveness is not to make someone else feel better, it's for you. Don't carry around resentment and grudges. Let go so that you don't become bitter.

Listen to your body. It is smarter than you are and it's the only one you have. Cherish it. Be grateful for it. Treat it kindly. It is the only one who will be there with you in the beginning as well as the end. 

Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.  

Even on the darkest night, there is light. Look for the light.

But, if I could sum up 2015 into one word, I think it would be "Trust." Trust yourself. Trust life. Trust that the world is not conspiring against you. Trust that even if you fall, you will rise again. So, I go into 2016 with that on my mind, open and welcoming whatever 2016 is sending my way. I hope that it's a heck of a lot more positive than 2015 has been, but I trust that whatever it is, I will come out the other side again.