meditations of a blueberry

Early last Wednesday, A arrived! Officially one week overdue, he was apparently waiting for the perfect time. I (finally) had absolutely everything ready, my doulas had babysitters for the next day, I was finished my June events for momstown, and it was the summer solstice! Born at home in the water, he was 10 pounds and 5 ounces, 22 inches long, and had a 15 inch head circumference! He's a big boy! Labour was 6.5 hours long from my first contraction, and there wasn't much "building up" to it. Thank you so much to my wonderful doulas, midwife and husband. Without them, I am not sure I could have done it. He is a great little nurser, and loves to snuggle. I don't have time to write out the full birth story right now, but I promise that I will do so in the next little while. For now, here's a picture of A when he was only hours old! I just love this little face! On a related note, I must say how appreciative I am of how helpful everyone has been. My mom ...

I am now 40 weeks and 5 days pregnant. I am exhausted, sore and generally moody. The smallest things set me off into an angry, pregnancy rage. Thankfully, mrblueberry is understanding and has been taking it all in stride. It is so hard at this point to be positive. I am trying. I keep repeating those affirmations in my mind. Nobody is pregnant forever. My body and my baby's body know what they are doing. He will come when he is ready. But it is still so difficult. I am starting to worry about risking out of my home birth and having to go to the hospital, and honestly, that scares me. I don't want to have this baby at the hospital. Nothing against hospital births, but I am really looking forward to labouring and birthing this baby in my own, safe space at home. To keep my mind off of things, I have been trying to keep busy. E and I go out every day, even if it is just for some window shopping or for a walk with our dog. I can't just stay at home and stare at the bi...

My guess date is tomorrow. I hit the "40 week" mark tomorrow. I truthfully did not think I would hit it. As much as I know that pregnancy can go safely to 42 weeks (and beyond in many cases), I had my mind made up that this baby would arrive early just like E. Obviously, that was clearly not the case. This little boy must want to pave his own path and not follow his brother's. At this point, I know that it could really happen at any time. Knowing that almost makes things harder. Every little thing makes me wonder if something will be happening soon. Each night I go to bed and wonder if I will awake and know that it is time. I am trying to enjoy what time we have left as a family of three. I know that life is about to become very hectic. I am taking the time to snuggle E when he will let me and to relax and nap when I can. Very soon, I will have a newborn again. It's hard to believe that at one point E was that little. I look at him in his full toddler glory, and wond...

As you probably already know, I am part of a fabulous group of mamas called momstown. These mamas have given me so much support and confidence. I am ever-grateful for them all. This past spring, I was hired for the position of program coordinator for our chapter. It has been so much fun planning and hosting some of the programs. I love being able to plan a craft and activity for the kids to do. It really has helped me with how I was feeling about wasting my degree. Not only do we have these programs, but we also have play dates throughout the week that mamas can attend with their littles. I truly love how many events that momstown offers. There is such a variety of structured and unstructured events to which I can bring E, and I am grateful for the opportunities to do so. I was talking with another mama recently about play dates. She was insistent that all play dates need to have some sort of theme or craft or planned activity. She felt very strongly about that and told me that was w...

Patience. It was definitely not handed out to me in abundance when God was handing out virtues. I have gained a lot of patience since becoming a teacher and mother, but not enough. I have zero patience when it comes to waiting for things. I hate waiting. I can't even wait to give gifts at birthdays! Waiting for this little boy to be born is driving me crazy. I feel like I'm stuck in limbo. I have written about waiting before when my sister was pregnant (when she was also 39 weeks pregnant, interestingly enough).  Taken by Snow Pea Portraits I am the most pregnant I have ever been. I went into labour with E at 38 weeks and 4 days. He was born the following morning, ten days early. I am now 39 weeks and 2 days pregnant with this current little boy. When I think that I could potentially have almost three more weeks of this, I want to throw up a little. Okay, a lot. My body can't handle much longer. Heck, my patience can't handle much longer! I have to continually rem...

Six years ago, I was busy finishing up writing my vows for the following day. We had spent the evening with our family celebrating what was to come the next day and I was happy. How could I not be? The next day I was marrying my best friend, my lover, my confidant. The person who with just one touch could make all my fears disappear. It's amazing how quickly time flies. It truthfully seems like yesterday that I put that wedding dress on, walked down the aisle holding onto my dad's arm, choking back tears and hearing my uncle remind me to smile as my future awaited for me at the end of that long walk. It has been an interesting six years: full of joy and happiness, sadness and hurt, and lots and lots of fun. I wouldn't change a thing. Even the hard times. Through those times of hurt and pain, I saw a man who knew how to stand beside me. A man who put me first and treated me with dignity. Sure, we've had our moments just like every other couple. Love is not easy. Marri...