Those Who Love You

Since my journey to the half marathon ended and injuring my knee, I've been going to hot yoga. I love the silence and the time to just be. It has been a fantastic way to refresh my spirit and focus on "me" without any distractions. I have more energy, and I feel more at peace with myself every day. My patience has increased, my heart feels open, and my mind is slowly learning how to "slow down." Simply put, I love it. Today's class was a bit hard and had me feeling dizzy a couple of times between postures. At the end, while we were laying in savasana the instructor read us the below quote:

As he spoke it, I felt he was speaking directly to me. Even though I was surrounded by 25 other people, it felt like his words were meant for my heart alone. The last month has been an emotion filled roller coaster. The ups and downs have been fast and furious with the fundraising, half marathon, reaching my weight loss goal, and hurting my knee. There have been many times this past month when I have felt alone, left out, or ignored by those around me. There have been other times when I have felt like my 45 pound weight loss changed who I am to my friends; that some of the arguments wouldn't have happened had I not lost the weight. It's silly, because it isn't true. In my heart, I know they are not doing it intentionally. In my heart, I know that everyone is too busy with their own lives to intentionally be leaving me out of things. But, my head likes to play games and tries to trick me into feeling otherwise. I hate mind games!

Yoga has helped me to silence that inner dialogue, even if sometimes it's only for the hour that I'm there. Every yoga class leaves me feeling refreshed, with that inner dialogue silenced for longer. After hearing this today, I have been holding it in my heart as a reminder. My true friends love me. They don't care if I'm a size 6 or a size 16. They don't care if I'm having a bad day and snap at someone. They don't care if I am stubborn or if I have a hard time admitting I am wrong. They know that sometimes my words are ruled by my heart, and sometimes that means they don't come out as thoughtfully as I would like. They know that I am not perfect. They know that I am only human, just like they are only human. They love me. They might get frustrated by some of these things, and we may have arguments or even fights, but they love me. And in friendships, we take the good and the bad because ultimately, the good is that much better. We are all only human, ruled by our emotions. Sometimes those emotions are high, and sometimes they are low. I am so thankful to have friends who are not fooled by my mistakes, quirks, and character flaws. So friends, know this: I am not fooled either. I remember your beauty, wholeness, innocence, and purpose. And I will always be here to help you remember. I love you!