Witnessing a Miracle

From https://www.facebook.com/TheLeakyBoob

Yesterday, I got to witness a beautiful miracle. Jessica from The Leaky B@@b gave birth to her sixth daughter and live streamed her labour and delivery. I kept checking all day to see how she was doing, and finally, just as I was thinking about heading to bed, she birthed that little girl. I was amazed at how strong and calm she was throughout her labour. With E, I was not calm. I screamed and fought the pain that his posterior position brought until I finally gave in and got the epidural. And her support team was fantastic. I refused to allow mrblueberry to touch me. Yet Jessica and her husband were the picture of love. His support of her was mesmerizing. Watching them together as she laboured was like watching a couple dance effortlessly across a dance floor. The love radiated from the screen. Many times I teared up watching when he knew just what she needed to continue on. It was beautiful. And if that wasn't enough to make this pregnant mama cry, seeing her daughters come in and help her through contractions sealed the deal. Watching her eldest, a 13 year old girl, massaging her mama's belly and supporting her as she birthed her sister was enough to get the tears flowing freely. And the pinacle, when that little girl was born and mama lifted her up to her chest, had me bawling.

I am so grateful that Jessica and others are willing to allow us into such a private and special moment in their lives. I know that some people disagree with this sharing, but I think it is important. Birth is a normal thing. Beautiful, yes. But normal. And yet, so many people have no idea what a normal birth looks like. They see birth as being what the media portrays it. Scary, loud, painful, highly medicalized, and full of drama. Just watch 5 minutes of any birth show on TLC and you will see just that. Birth doesn't have to be that way! If a woman is properly supported and allowed to labour in the way her body is comfortable, most women can do it without the use of drugs, doctors, hospitals or interventions. Unfortunately, though, too often we are told that we can't do it without drugs or other interventions, and that doctors know everything and that we shouldn't trust the woman's intuition and knowledge of her own body. We have kind of lost ourselves in a medical maze and forgotten what we are capable of doing. There IS a place for some of these interventions absolutely, but in most cases they aren't needed.

E and I have watched many, many different birth videos throughout the last couple of months. Watching so many strong women give birth at home without the need of all the hospital stuff has helped to give me the confidence I need to give birth to this baby at home. I have sought out these videos because I do not have that confidence from E's birth. In E's birth, I had almost every intervention short of a c-section. It was not what I wanted, and I still regret not being strong enough to say "no" to some of them. The birth experience matters. It is not the be all, end all of the parenting journey, but it matters. If it didn't, there wouldn't be such a high rate of PPD and women seeking a better birth experience for their next children. So many women feel that their body is "broken" when that is not the case. Women seek out videos like this one from The Feminist Breeder that show a different experience than the ones that TLC show us not to find the "right" or "real" way to birth a baby. Rather, they want to see other experiences. If everyone experienced birth the way most TLC births go, then we would ALL get c-sections in a heartbeat. But knowing and witnessing other and better experiences makes us realize that our bodies are not broken and that yes, we can do it too. That is why I am so grateful for Jessica and others for sharing their births with us. If you don't want to watch someone else's birth, by all means, don't. I, however, will continue to watch and feel blessed to share such a miraculous moment. Because birth is beautiful. Birth is special. Birth is a miracle. And birth is normal.

I can't wait for this little boy now to join us. I am excited about labour. I only hope I can cope with my labour as beautifully as she did. I know that I will be fantastically supported by mrblueberry and my good friends as doulas. I hope that E is here to witness it and see his little brother come into the world. And I can't wait to be the first hands to touch him as he comes into the world, surrounded by love and support.