Unsolicited Advice

For some reason, when you become a parent people think they need to offer you advice, ask bizarre questions and tell you their horror stories. These offers of unsolicited advice actually start when you are pregnant, and don't end with birth. Even with E being almost 17 months, I am still receiving advice I never asked for! It can get quite frustrating, as there are as many ways to parent your children as there are parents. And just because something worked for one child doesn't mean it will work for another. E is currently going through something (developmental leap?) that is affecting his sleep like nothing else has before. He wakes up constantly, and does NOT want to sleep in his crib. He will sleep on you, but the second you try to put him down in his own bed, he screams. Thank goodness that mrblueberry is an engaged partner who participates in the nighttime parenting. If I had to do this alone, I think I would likely pull out my hair. In my complaining about his sleep issues, I have had several people suggest to me to try a cry-it-out method (CIO), or to night wean, or try countless other things. I understand that people are just trying to help, but unless someone specifically says, "What do I do?" perhaps they should keep their ideas to themselves (perhaps I need to tell myself this too, I know I have been guilty of doing the same thing!). The worst thing I have had someone say to me during this time? A version of "so glad my babies slept through the night at 6 months." Um, thanks. Did you really think I wanted to hear that? Thanks for making me feel like a failure as a parent because I can't get my child to sleep more than 2 hours at a time most nights!

People are just trying to help. I understand that. But sometimes the "help" is not very helpful. So in honour of all my fellow parents who are just trying to do the best they can with what they have, here is my list of the worst things to say to a new parent!

•  "Is he sleeping through the night?"
• I hate this question. As an adult I don't even sleep through the night, so why should I expect my son to? Not to mention, when I was asked this question for the first time E was only four WEEKS old.
• "Is he a good baby?"
• What sort of question is this anyway? What if you said "no, I want to send him back"? And don't give me any nonsense about a baby who cries a lot being a "bad baby." A baby who cries a lot is an unhappy baby, and is only trying to tell you something is wrong!

•  "You're STILL breastfeeding?!" 
• You're STILL a jerk?! Do you even know that the WHO recommends breastfeeding for at least 2 years? Or that the average world-wide weaning age is FOUR?! Not to mention, the way I choose to feed my child is none of your business.
• "Maybe you should just let him cry it out. Worked for my kids!"
• That's fine. For your kids. But that doesn't work here, and I won't do it so stop pushing it down my throat."
•  With a newborn, "You're taking him out already?!"
• Uh, yeah, what was I supposed to do? Leave the baby at home for the dog to watch?
•  "You're giving him food from YOUR plate? Won't he choke? You need to spoon feed that boy purees!"
• No, I don't. He is a year old and has been eating REAL food for 6 months. He hasn't yet choked on anything, and if, God forbid, he does we know what to do!
• "Isn't he cold? You need to bundle that baby up more!" 
• Actually, he is dressed in one more layer than I am, which is the recommendation!

What questions or advice have you been on the receiving end of?