Limitations of the Online World

Ever feel like this after reading something online?

What is it about the internet that seems to fuel fights? I have both seen and experienced the issues that come from the written word being taken the wrong way. People have been hurt, and are hurt daily, due to the way someone worded a comment, blog post, or email. It can be so hard to know how someone means something when you don't have their voice and body language to help. What drives me crazy about this issue, is that we KNOW this. Social media has been around for quite awhile in some form or another; it's not like we are still "getting to know it."  That being said, there are people in older generations that have just discovered how great Facebook is for keeping in touch, and may not be as "internet savvy" as my generation. I get that, and I tend to give my parent's generation a little more leeway (but not my parents, we have had a computer and been connected for as long as you COULD be connected!). But anyone in their 20's or 30's who has been on sites like Facebook, or MySpace, or used ICQ (now that's a trip down memory lane!) should know better.

And yet, it still happens. Sometimes, it is truly a misunderstanding. Someone comments a certain way on a post, but the reader takes it the wrong way. Sometimes, it is not. Sometimes, I think certain people are out there JUST to be malicious because they can. And they do it because they are anonymous (although, I am sure some of these people are unfortunately malicious in real life too). It's so easy to comment on an article or Facebook page rudely when you don't have to see the other person's reaction. My opinion on the matter is if it isn't something you would say to someone's face, don't say it online! I just don't understand why some people are out to purposely hurt others.

The malicious comments, though hurtful, are easier to ignore than the misunderstood ones. So how do we deal with comments that we aren't sure how to take? A while ago, I read an article about how easy it is to take comments the wrong way. I wish I could remember where I read it so I could link it, but it ended with this little tidbit of advice: "Read everything online with a smile. It's much harder to take something the wrong way when you are smiling." Ever since reading that, I try to do that. Sometimes I forget, but for the most part, it makes a big difference in being hurt by a comment or not. In the end, if I am not sure how I should take a comment, I assess it. I ask who made the comment. I ask if that person knows the situation my post is referring to. And then I ask if I could be putting my own thoughts, feelings and insecurities into the meaning of the comment. If I go through all that, and am STILL offended or hurt, then that is the time to either ignore the comment, or talk to the person directly and privately. Amazingly, after asking the previous questions, I don't often find the need to do so!

So let's remember a few basic "etiquette" rules of Facebook and online messaging:
1. If you wouldn't say it to their face, don't say it online.
2. If you read something that hurts you, TALK to the other person privately about it, or just ignore it.

That's it. Let's all be adults in this online world!