The Art of Scrolling By

A little over 9 years ago, I was laughing and rolling my eyes when my friend told me about this website called "Facebook."

"Like I'd join that," I said. "I will stick with MySpace."

Little did I know.

Shortly after that conversation, I gave in and joined when I was at the university curriculum lab procrastinating doing a project. Soon the addiction took over. And before I knew it, everyone I knew was on Facebook, even my Nana.

Now, Facebook has evolved into this amazing tool to be used to keep in touch and to feel like part of a community. But there does come a price. Sometimes we share openly and honestly about our lives, sometimes we don't. Sometimes we share only the good parts of our lives, creating this illusion that everything is perfect in our world. This not only hurts others as they inevitably compare their lives to a nonexistent perfect life, but ourselves as we are not being open with our lives.

This is why I insist on being an open book. I share, regardless of the content. In this day and age, our villages are scattered globally and to find support we must use tools such as Facebook. So if I have a bad day, I share. If I am sick, or my kids are being jerks (as kids are bound to do), or life is just generally not peachy, I share. If my kids do something amazing, I share. If I'm overwhelmed with love for them, I share. If I am proud of myself, I share. If something funny or trivial happens in my day, I share. Because life is not only full of rainbows and roses, but also storms and thorns. And I am happy to share in the rainbows and storms of others and offer my support to them. As mothers navigating this global world, it's sometimes hard to find that much needed support in person.

Sometimes when I am scrolling through Facebook, I see someone share something I don't necessarily agree with (especially lately with the US election). Sometimes I see things that I don't want to see. But just like when I see something at the store that I don't want to see, I just scroll on by. I don't particularly like seeing people making out in public, but instead of making a big deal, I just avert my eyes. Facebook is the same. I just avert my eyes and scroll on by. I don't need to tell people that what they've deemed important to share is too much or that I didn't want to see it. I just scroll on by. I have also been selective about what I allow come across my feed. If someone is constantly sharing hurtful and hateful things (this includes the news), I hide them from my feed. Sometimes for a short while, sometimes for longer. Rarely do I unfriend in these cases, preferring instead to put the control of seeing their posts in my hands. My mental health is better for it.

Facebook is a great tool. It has helped me keep my sanity in times of crazy kids and those hard parenting moments. I share to keep my family and friends updated about my life and what my kids are doing. I share because if I don't, I feel alone. And when I feel alone, my PPD has a chance to get its claws in my life. I share because I crave connection with adults and in this world of being a stay at home mom, some days Facebook is the only way I get that. I share my life, and if you're seeing it, it means I deem you important enough to share in that. If you don't want to see it, please feel free to scroll on by, just as I will continue scrolling on by the posts that I don't want to see.