Giving Up Control

There is something about the last weeks of pregnancy that just reinforces that sometimes you must give up control and sometimes you truly just do not have any control at all. Analyzing every twinge and tightening as you await labour to start only makes things more clear. Waiting for labour truly reminds us of how we are not in any way in control of this thing called life. Oh, we try. We try to control it with so-called natural induction techniques. Drink red raspberry leaf tea. Go for walks. Use evening primrose oil. Get an induction massage. Have sex. Eat spicy food. Eat fresh pineapple.  Drink castor oil (do not actually do that!). There's so many old wives' tales for naturally inducing labour out there, that I don't even know them all! But in the end, none of this will work if baby and body are not ready. We truly are not in control. And it bothers us to no end. So, we have more medically inclined techniques that we often fall on when we hit that uncomfortable stage. Sweep the membranes. Break the water. Give the piticon. All because we have a need to be in control. Sometimes, a medical induction is necessary, but often it isn't. Often, it is solely about our need for control. 

At 39 weeks pregnant, I am completely uncomfortable. Baby is fully in place, my chiropractor says my pelvis is ready, and I have had random contractions throughout the week. I have to admit that I have tried several natural induction techniques in the last while hoping to encourage this baby to join us. Obviously, none of it has worked. I came to the conclusion this morning that I just need to "let it go." I need to give up the control--which I must admit can be hard for this mama. It's not in my control, never was. I am a strong believer in "the baby will come when it's ready" but there's a small part of me that is trying to clench on to some small thing that I can control. Well, I can't control anything but my attitude in this situation. I know I won't be pregnant forever. Sometime in the next 3 weeks I will meet this sweet boy. Maybe it will be tomorrow maybe it won't be for 3 weeks. I will just have to continue to go day by day and trust that my baby knows what he is doing. So, I am going to control what I can control and relinquish what I cannot. My baby is in control here. He is running this show. He will join us when he's ready. In the meantime, I'm just going to relax and enjoy the ride.