Ahem, I think I lost the pen last year.

It's almost been a year. I don't seem to be very good at this regular posting thing. When I look back at past posts, I am surprised at things that I have written! Not so much about the content, but more about the actual writing. I used to be able to write! Perhaps with practice, one day again I will be able to recall forgotten vocabulary and grammar rules!

Truthfully, I forgot all about this blog (again). But it has been a busy year. In the last year, E has grown, and grown, and grown some more and is now a toddler. I've made some fabulous friends from a fabulous mom's group I joined
. And mrblueberry (finally) got his continuous teaching contract. But it hasn't all been positive. Mrblueberry's grandfather passed away this summer at the age of 88. He lived a full and long life, but that doesn't make his passing any easier. It was the first family member mrblueberry had die, so it was hard. There has been a lot of family drama with his grandfather's passing, which has culminated in his grandmother being hospitalized with a very serious and toxic infection that she seems to now (with the right antibiotics) be successfully fighting. She is still in the hospital. Mrblueberry's other grandfather has been hospitalized as well with a parkinson's/alzheimers diagnosis. And we just got news that his other grandmother is not doing as well as we thought.

My maternity leave was up last May, and we decided that it was best for E to have me stay home. I feel incredibly lucky that this is an option for us. I know many people don't have the option. Still, part of me feels like I am "wasting my education" by staying at home. Is it because I am still paying off student loans? Perhaps. Most of the time, I am utterly ecstatic that I get to spend my days with my little man, seeing him grow and learn. It is amazing to see the changes day to day. I can't imagine missing them. But then, there are times where I just miss the classroom. Days where I feel like my brain is slowly turning to mush and if I am not careful, I will soon be drooling and staring out the window at nothing (other mommas, you know what I mean). Whether I truly wanted to go back to work or not doesn't really matter at this point. The education field is not really in a "hiring spree". I will be lucky to get myself back on the supply list at this point, never mind actually getting a contract. And this is where the problem lies. It's not that I am eager to go back to work (although, don't get me wrong, if a principal called to offer me a position, I would most likely accept it), it's that the option isn't really there for me to do so. And that just feels terrible.

On another more happier note, my sister is pregnant and due in a month! I can't believe my little sister is going to be a mom. It just boggles my mind. I am so unbelievably excited to meet this little one. I must admit, though, it took me a bit to get to this point of excitement. The miscarriage, even though it was 2 years ago, still plays on my emotions and mind. When she first told me they were trying, I was happy for her, but not excited. And I don't know if she noticed or not, but I felt terrible afterwards for not showing more excitement. A good friend who also experienced a pregnancy loss helped me to work through my emotions, and I am so grateful for her (yet again, I am often grateful for her). Now I am so pumped for this little life!

Anyway, I think that is all. It is late, and I am certain E will be up soon for a nursing session (15 months and still going strong!), so I should try to get some sleep tonight. We have family pictures tomorrow with my fantastic friend Jen from Snow Pea Portraits! 



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