The Season of Babies

For everything there is a season. Or so they tell me. Seasons are not forever. They pass. Sometimes they pass with what seems like lightning speed, and sometimes they drag along as if someone had accidentally pushed the slow motion button. Sometimes you are surrounded by others in the same season as you, and sometimes you are all alone. The season of my life is currently babies and toddlers and all that pertains to the crazy life that is 4 children 6 and under. I am in the season of life where if I get 2 mins alone to go pee without hearing screaming at least once a day, I feel like I won the jackpot. I am in the season where my life is ruled by snacks and naps and early bedtimes lest my precious little people suddenly turn into gremlins. I am in the season of diapers and diapers and even more diapers. I am in the season where by the end of the day, I am just spent and can hardly find the energy for much else besides losing myself in an episode of Doctor Who or Supernatural, never mind the exercise and projects I have placed on my "To Do" lists. I am in the season of mental and emotional exhaustion just from my simple day to day routines with these mostly sweet, sometimes crazy, always intense little people. And while there are a handful of friends in the same season as I, I feel very much alone. How can one feel alone when they are literally surrounded by people pretty much 24/7, you ask? Got me. But I do. I look around and the wonderful village that I built with my first two children is still very much there, but also very much in the next season of child rearing. No longer are their days ruled by naps and snacks, but by school pick ups and parent teacher interviews and extracurricular activities and PAT meetings. No longer can my littlest ones come for a play date with theirs since my littlest are simply too little. Not to mention, their littlests are in school during the time of day that we would be wanting to have a play date. And I get it. Even if my friends weren't working, 6 year olds don't usually want to play with 2 year olds (even when they are siblings, sigh). But my heart and soul yearns for those laid back yet crazy play dates that we used to have, complete with coffee, laughter, kids screaming, and the knowledge that you are not alone in this season. I cherish those friends that have moved on from this season. I celebrate with them and listen to their frustrations as they move through the next season. And I know that they're celebrating and commiserating with me as I move through this season. I can feel their support and love as I travel through. And I love them for that. And yet, even with the support that I know is there, I still feel alone in this season on my journey. It is so odd. And it is moments like this that I truly miss momstown and the companionship that it provided. momstown gave this mama the confidence to talk to other mamas and grow a support network. It's not so easy to do on my own. How does an introverted 4th time mama find others who are in the same season as her?

I don't know.

But I do know that I need to do that because this lonely shit? It's for the birds.