Waiting for Baby

Waiting.

I'm not so good at waiting.

My guess date has come and gone and I feel like I'm in the twilight zone.

We are in a holding pattern now.

Every morning I wake up in disbelief that I am still pregnant. As if I would have magically forgotten about giving birth in my sleep or something. 

And so we wait.

And wait.

And wait some more.

Every twinge, every random contraction makes me wonder if that's the start.

One second I feel like I should be "doing all the things" to get labour moving, and the next I remember that I need to rest so that when labour does happen I will have the energy to bring this baby girl earthside.

This isn't new to me. I had to wait with both A and L. It's just as hard to wait the third time around.

I have spent almost this entire third trimester feeling mostly calm and ready to wait for the day that baby girl chooses as her birthday. Since my guess date has passed, however, my impatience has risen up to new levels. And yet, it still is at odds with my belief in the importance of waiting. One moment I feel like I just can't be pregnant one minute longer, and the next, I am mostly content to wait for her.

I'm just so done. And sore. And tired of feeling heavy. Not to mention, if I hear one more person ask me if I will be induced, or treat me like a sideshow, I might just lose my mind. (For the record, pointing, saying "woah," and grabbing a coworker saying "look at that!" when you see a largely pregnant mama is very, very rude.).

But still I wait. And I will keep waiting. It's all one can do at this point. I'll try to enjoy these last moments of the last time I will be pregnant. And I will keep talking to baby girl telling her how ready I am to meet her. Maybe she will get the hint.