Parenting as an Introvert

I love spending time with my mama friends. I love drinking coffee and laughing and watching our kids play together for hours on end. I love going out without the kids and laughing and just being silly together. I love going to the farmer’s market and festivals and swimming with my family. I love running around and dancing crazily with my boys. But I have a confession to make. Being around people drains me of energy. After doing any of these things, I often feel like I used to feel in university after a night of drinking. Tired. Exhausted. Drained.

There is a simple reason for those feelings. One that I only truly discovered after having children. I am an introvert. Being around people use my energy and I need to spend time alone to recharge. Large, busy spaces overwhelm me. I easily get overwhelmed by noises and bright colours. I have to work hard to focus on the task at hand when I am immersed in a busy place. When I get overwhelmed, it’s easy to get frustrated and lose my temper. So, not only am I an introvert, but I am also highly sensitive as well. We talk about children being highly sensitive and ways to parent them, but not how adults can be highly sensitive. Parenting is one of those things that can be incredibly stimulating and tiring. So, how does a highly sensitive introvert handle the stimulation that kids bring?

1.  Build time for rest and quiet into your routine. Even 5 minutes can help you keep calm in the midst of crazy. If you have to lock yourself in the bathroom, do it! If you have to throw on a TV show while you do it, that’s ok too. Taking care of yourself and taking this time will help you respond to your children.
2. If there is going to be an extra busy day, prepare for it. Take some time in the morning to breathe and relish the quiet. This can be hard with kids, but it’s important.
3. Try to arrive early to events. I find that if I am one of the first to arrive and it gets busy gradually around me, I have an easier time handling the stimulation. When I arrive after people get there, I often feel bombarded by all of the stimulation and tire more quickly.
4. Take time after events to collect yourself. Whether your event was simply grocery shopping, a momstown program, or a big kid’s birthday party, take some time to breathe after. I usually do this in the car with the kids strapped in when we get home. I take about 5-10 deep, slow breaths with my eyes closed. This helps me re-focus on being calm and re-energizes me.
5. Stay active. Going for my almost daily walk helps me to refocus my energy. I also find that yoga helps. Activities that are mostly solo and quiet seem to be the best for me, but find what works for you and stick with it.