It's Not About the Weight

It's not about the weight. This journey that I am on isn't about the pounds or inches that I will inevitably lose as I eat healthier and train to run 21 kilometers. It's really not. But, I can't help but get giddy as I see my body shrinking and the number on the scale going down. I can't help but feel excited when clothes that haven't fit since before I was pregnant with E fit again. I can't help but smile when I look into the mirror and see less of the belly that stretched beyond its capacity to carry a ten pound baby. But, it's not about the weight.

What is this journey about then? Well, it's about the changes I'm FEELING rather than seeing. It's how just six short weeks ago, I couldn't even run for three minutes straight without feeling like I couldn't breathe, yet today, I ran for almost an hour (eight minutes running/one minute walking) and could have gone longer. It's about how carrying both boys (55 pounds!) out to the car no longer feels like a workout. It's about how going up the stairs to my house no longer puts me out of breath. It's how I can now dance with my boys to more than one song without needing a break. My body has changed. Every time I run, I surprise myself with what I can actually do. The first time I ran for 25 minutes straight, I was in tears for the last couple of minutes. Not because it was hard (it was), but because I didn't think I was capable of doing it. And I did it! My body is becoming stronger every day, and my brain is starting to realize that I can do more than I ever thought possible. And I couldn't be happier about that. No matter how crappy I feel before a run, afterwards, I feel like a warrior. Especially on the cold -25 C days! 

Some of our team on an exceptionally cold night!

I'm not the only one on this journey. There are ten of us momstown mamas who are running together. Ten of us who are trying to make a change in our own lives, and a difference in the lives of others. Ten of us who are finding our bodies are capable of more if we just push them a little. I am so proud of my fellow team mates and the dedication that I have seen from them. They inspire me to keep going. When my brain is telling me otherwise, they encourage me and remind me that I can do it. That I am doing it. So, what about the twelve pounds (and several inches) that I've lost? Well, they're a bonus. No, it's not about the weight, but it sure is a nice perk.