It's Not About the Weight

It's not about the weight. This journey that I am on isn't about the pounds or inches that I will inevitably lose as I eat healthier and train to run 21 kilometers. It's really not. But, I can't help but get giddy as I see my body shrinking and the number on the scale going down. I can't help but feel excited when clothes that haven't fit since before I was pregnant with E fit again. I can't help but smile when I look into the mirror and see less of the belly that stretched beyond its capacity to carry a ten pound baby. But, it's not about the weight.

 What is this journey about then? Well, it's about the changes I'm FEELING rather than seeing. It's how just six short weeks ago, I couldn't even run for three minutes straight without feeling like I couldn't breathe, yet today, I ran for almost an hour (eight minutes running/one minute walking) and could have gone longer. It's about how carrying both boys (55 pounds!) out to the car no longer feels like a workout. It's about how going up the stairs to my house no longer puts me out of breath. It's how I can now dance with my boys to more than one song without needing a break. My body has changed. Every time I run, I surprise myself with what I can actually do. The first time I ran for 25 minutes straight, I was in tears for the last couple of minutes. Not because it was hard (it was), but because I didn't think I was capable of doing it. And I did it! My body is becoming stronger every day, and my brain is starting to realize that I can do more than I ever thought possible. And I couldn't be happier about that. No matter how crappy I feel before a run, afterwards, I feel like a warrior. Especially on the cold -25 C days! 

Some of our team on an exceptionally cold night!
I'm not the only one on this journey. There are ten of us momstown mamas who are running together. Ten of us who are trying to make a change in our own lives, and a difference in the lives of others. Ten of us who are finding our bodies are capable of more if we just push them a little. I am so proud of my fellow team mates and the dedication that I have seen from them. They inspire me to keep going. When my brain is telling me otherwise, they encourage me and remind me that I can do it. That I am doing it. So, what about the twelve pounds (and several inches) that I've lost? Well, they're a bonus. No, it's not about the weight, but it sure is a nice perk.



Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Overdue and Tired

Image
I am now 40 weeks and 5 days pregnant. I am exhausted, sore and generally moody. The smallest things set me off into an angry, pregnancy rage. Thankfully, mrblueberry is understanding and has been taking it all in stride. It is so hard at this point to be positive. I am trying. I keep repeating those affirmations in my mind. Nobody is pregnant forever. My body and my baby's body know what they are doing. He will come when he is ready. But it is still so difficult. I am starting to worry about risking out of my home birth and having to go to the hospital, and honestly, that scares me. I don't want to have this baby at the hospital. Nothing against hospital births, but I am really looking forward to labouring and birthing this baby in my own, safe space at home. To keep my mind off of things, I have been trying to keep busy. E and I go out every day, even if it is just for some window shopping or for a walk with our dog. I can't just stay at home and stare at the bi
Read more

Pop Can Caroler Craft

Image
When I was a little girl, we would often spend part of Christmas break at my Nana and Grampa's house. And each time, we always did some sort of Christmas craft. My Nana was a crafty lady back in the day, and she was not afraid to attempt crafts with us kids that I never would have. She had an area in her basement dedicated to sewing and crafts. It was fantastic. One year, we made these really cute "pop can carolers", and for the past 5 years, I have wanted to make more. Finally, I got my act together and did it this year. I think they turned out pretty good!  What you need:  -washed and dried pop cans (the cans without the wide mouth work best, but I don't know if you can even get these anymore)  -acrylic paint (or another paint that works on metal) in black,"skin tone", pink and your choice of colours -clear acrylic spray  (optional) -fabric scraps  -buttons, rhinestones, flowers, etc for embellishments  -socks (if ankle sock, 1 per caroler,
Read more

Mother Blessing: A Day of Love and Support

Image
My sister applying henna to my belly Today, I was fortunate enough to spend a few hours with some very fabulous women as we celebrated the last few weeks that I have left of this pregnancy. I am so grateful that my sister wanted to organize a mother blessing for me. I have been looking forward to this day for quite a while, and even though there were some chaotic moments with the kids, it didn't disappoint. These fantastic mothers in my life have left me feeling not only loved and supported, but renewed for this last bit of pregnancy. Amazingly, I did not really cry, although there were moments that I was sure I was about to burst into tears. From the meaningful quotes on the fabric for the support banner, to the thoughtful reasons why each person chose the bead they chose, I am not sure how I managed not to! I absolutely love the thought that was put into choosing each and every item. I wish I had written down some of the reasons because I just know I will forget. My sister g
Read more