meditations of a blueberry

Six years ago, I was busy finishing up writing my vows for the following day. We had spent the evening with our family celebrating what was to come the next day and I was happy. How could I not be? The next day I was marrying my best friend, my lover, my confidant. The person who with just one touch could make all my fears disappear. It's amazing how quickly time flies. It truthfully seems like yesterday that I put that wedding dress on, walked down the aisle holding onto my dad's arm, choking back tears and hearing my uncle remind me to smile as my future awaited for me at the end of that long walk. It has been an interesting six years: full of joy and happiness, sadness and hurt, and lots and lots of fun. I wouldn't change a thing. Even the hard times. Through those times of hurt and pain, I saw a man who knew how to stand beside me. A man who put me first and treated me with dignity. Sure, we've had our moments just like every other couple. Love is not easy. Marri...

Waiting. I hate waiting. I already wrote about how I hate waiting when my sister was pregnant , but I am reminded yet again of how much I really do hate waiting. The waiting this time though is different. I am impatiently waiting, yet almost wishing for time to slow down so that I can get those last minute snuggles with just E before this baby comes. It's an odd feeling to want time to hurry up and slow down at the same time. Even though it seems like an eternity until my guess date, I know that when this little boy finally makes his arrival it will feel like time sped up for these last few weeks. It doesn't help that I am completely and utterly uncomfortable. Every single pregnancy discomfort seems to have graced my body in the last weeks. Just last night good old pregnancy insomnia decided to pay me a visit. I could go on about how sore and exhausted my body is for ages (and have to my friends--SORRY), but I won't. Soon, this baby will be joining us in the world, and ...

I realized something today. In the midst of family and friends on Thanksgiving weekend, I realized that I am a very blessed woman. I have fabulous friends who know just the right things to say at just the right times. I have family who I know would be there for me in a heartbeat if I ever needed them to be. I have a husband who is not only my best friend, but is my confidante and lover and treats me so. I have a son whose very smile brightens up the worst day or night. I am able to have pets and both of them are in tune with me and know when I need extra snuggles. I live in a time where I get to choose whether or not I want to return to work after having a baby. I get to go and make myself heard in an election by voting. If I am cold, I can turn on the furnace and not have to choose between heat or food. I don't have to worry about stepping outside to gunfire, or landmines, or some terrible disease. My biggest concern is not whether or not I will have enough food and water to give ...

There is something refreshing about the fall in the mountains. I can't quite put my finger on it, but after being in BC for 4 days, I feel lighter. Like all of my worries and concerns just floated away with the morning fog or was washed away by the mountain showers. While I agree that a lot of rain anywhere can be depressing, a little mountain rain is nothing like rain in Alberta. Mountain rain refreshes my soul. It washes away my insecurities. In the fall, the mornings are usually foggy; however, by noon it has usually lifted. In that time, the sun's rays shine through the fog as if from heaven themselves, as if their touch turns the leaves from green to gold.  The gold and copper leaves of fall remind me that even in death there is beauty. Here are a few pictures from my drive through the mountains: The trip to BC was fabulous. E cooperated for the drive (for the most part), and we made it there in record time--6 hours with one 20 minute stop for lunc...